There is no God?

I’d like to know why the Culture has made me feel bad for believing in God?

Maybe it’s because we’ve had so many assholes talking at us about God, when in reality they were using God to make themselves gods on earth. -see most televangelists circa 1980 to 2000

And then there’s organizations like the Catholic Church who purposely hid evidence that people in their organization were breaking the law and God’s laws by molesting children. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Catholic hater, but I think that many times throughout history, the Catholic Church has been more concerned with the organization, comprised of its priests and bishops, than with the spiritual well-being of it’s members. And don’t even get me started on infallibility…

There’s also the Church of Atheism, headed by its twin popes of Dawkins and Hitchens. Those guys can be as dogmatic as the popes of the Catholic Church.

All I know is that when I see the sunrise or when a particularly beautiful day seems to elevate everything I see and hear and touch and taste and feel emotionally, I know that there is a God. When I see thousands die in natural disasters and there are women crying in the streets over their dead children, I know that there is a God. I know that there is something greater and more beautiful and terrible than I can imagine. And this is the failing of most religion; God may love us, but he has a difficult and sometimes horrible job to do. That job is supporting the universe, and to do that, people have to die as well as be born. People have to be allowed to be evil to each other so that we can be greater than we are and learn what is good.

You see, I don’t think God looks after each one of us like a little child, at least physically. God is as the mountains and the oceans are. He does not make it possible for your country to win wars or for you to win the lottery or for your favorite sports team to win the championship.

God gives life and takes it away. He produces beauty, but allows horror. God is life, and in between the terrible parts, God is love.

I’ve Found Something

You may have remembered this post I wrote about my son’s upcoming Baptism.

I have done much soul searching since then. I have looked into my past and tried to see what has made my Catholic faith such a burden and so cumbersome. My problems with the Catholic faith have stemmed from several things, the first being something I will call the stigma of Christ. It is the cringing I feel when I see someone proclaiming Jesus as Lord and Savior. But what about that truly bothers me? Part of it is the history of some people who have had very poor and misguided behavior and ideas about what and who Jesus is.

I know Jesus does not “hate fags.”

I know Jesus doesn’t “want my money.”

I know Jesus doesn’t want you to kill anyone. Period.

I know Jesus wants us to accept God’s love.

I know Jesus wants us to love each other.

I know Jesus wants us to forgive each other.

And I’m starting to wonder just what it is I have a problem with in my faith?

I know the answer to that.

I don’t have a problem with Christ. I have a problem with the people who say they speak for Christ and God. And taking my cues from Christ and Buddha, I must seek until I find and I must be compassionate and I must forgive people. I must forgive all of those misguided and spiritually bankrupt people who speak in God’s name when, if I can stop for a second and listen to the world and God in my innermost being, I know what the truth is.

And here is another secret that Christ and Buddha knew: To know God, you must be aware. you must be willing to shine a light on all parts of your self, from the good thoughts and the bad, the prejudices and pride-filled parts too.

My problem is with people, not God and Christ. And I’m feeling so much better about a lot of things, but there a still a few I’m not so happy or comfortable with. I’m still a bit apprehensive about aspects of my faith. But the important thing is that I seem to have found my faith.

Now I have something to believe in. Now I know what my life’s purpose is. I am here to love and forgive and be my best. And that is all you have to do praise God, because God doesn’t actually want you to praise Him. He wants you to love. God wants us to love and forgive people, nature, politicians, priests, criminals, cops, governments, each other, and ourselves.

Whenever people love and forgive each other, that’s where you’ll find God. And that’s what I found that was missing.