I am lost. But come to think of it, this place I am in and what I am writing about may as well be about the television show (and how I hate TV, except for LOST).
I am in a place that I have no bearing and I am afraid to start in one direction or the other because of one simple thing: Truth.
Everywhere I turn are control structures, lines of thought and dogma that cloud the issue and alter reality. These ideas and religions offer you truth, but deliver slavery.
Run from anything or anyone that tells you, ” You must…”
Some magickal writings tell us to create our own framework, while others preach no dogma, which is dogma in itself.
Maybe I’m not after truth, but freedom. Freedom from other ideas and books and religions and television and media and fashion and…the World. Death comes to mind, but this defeats the purpose of the exercise.
Silence is another word. Complete and total silence. Being cut off from anything that can render its message to me in any way, shape or form. Tabula rasa is not good enough. I’m talking womb. I’m talking rebirth. I want to wipe my hard drive and build my own operating system from the ground up.
Everything thought and action will be me and I will set myself free.
4 responses so far ↓
leafless // March 8, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Oh, how I wish I have some peace and silence just about now.
Peter // March 8, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Enjoy yourself and the Truth will come to you.
ezparz // March 9, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Long time no see. I feel ya. Is it just the long, dark winter that gets us to this place? Talk about starting over- the trees get a clean slate every year. My wife is pregnant again and we are all mired in the proverbial womb, waiting to be reborn into the people we hope to be when we’re not sick and depressed and angsty. We keep telling ourselves to just feel it, just bare it. It too will pass, so they say. And it does but when you’re in the middle of it the phrase doesn’t provide much help. Sigh.
guignole // March 12, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Leafless, isn’t odd how hard it is to fine any peace and quiet, that is if you don’t live in the boonies. And now, even the boonies are easier and easier to reach and escape from.
Peter, I’ve tried enjoying myself and only found myself in trouble, except for that time I jumped out of a perfectly fine airplane. With a parachute. On that day, I truly enjoyed myself.
Expaz, long time. Congrats on the newly initialized life coming your way. Yeah, I’ve heard that it will pass, but they forget to mention the scars that are left after its passing.